McGuffy’s Reader has a blog hop called Sparks every Monday. Quotes of positive thoughts and ideas for us to start our week with.
Mom’s quote for this week is:
Though an awesome thought, it is so hard for mom to do this. She struggles with it almost every day. If only her hands were able to lift objects…if only… She must adapt to life as it is now….not in the past. This is very difficult to accept but she knows she must forget the past and carve out a new way of doing things she once took for granted. When she finally accepts and quits battling with herself she will be happy. She knows this but change is very difficult. So she’ll keep trying until she accomplishes her goal.
Do you have a problem accepting things you cannot change?
To some extent we all do. I know I was dealing with the vicissitudes of being newly diagnosed with Wegener’s granulomatosis and sitting in the waiting room of the hospital for a follow up doctor’s appointment. I had to use a cane to get around, something that hurt my pride as I was only 55 at the time.
Then a husband and wife came in. They were well dressed, looking extremely affluent. Yet they husband was in an automated wheelchair that required him to puff into a tube to operate. He was severely disabled, perhaps by ALS or some similar neurological disease, more by accident. It didn’t matter because he was forever confined to the wheelchair, perhaps to eventually lose even the ability to puff into the tube to achieve mobility.
I watched the couple. The husband was frustrated by his inability to consistently make the wheelchair obey his puff commands. The wife was frustrated because she saw the task as simple, one her husband just couldn’t get right with consistency. He was at the point of giving up, and she was berating him for it. It was not a happy scene.
I was called to go through the pre-appointment paperwork, so left the couple to their challenges. It occurred to me, however, that my “new normal” was frustrating and embarrassing, but I, at least, was able to get around pretty darn well with that cane!
The lesson, I suppose, is accept the “new normal” because there are others with conditions far worse that they must adjust to. This realization has helped me have a positive outlook on my disabilities and to adjust easily to “new normals” without slipping into despair or self-pity.
Weggieboy, Thank you for this slap of reality….I needed it. You are so right. There are peeps out there that are so much worse than I am. What a chore….blowing a wheelchair to move it. This makes my struggle rather insignificant but it is my struggle so is difficult for me but I am very lucky as I can still hold things.
The Canadian Cats Post author
November 13, 2017 at 9:03 am
From the heart too…this is a great challenge for me. I should be a cat as change is something I fight.
“…the husband” and “…or by accident” Every time WordPress modifies the app to make it better, I wish they’d consider making it possible to edit comments after you post them on someone else’s post! I almost always see the mistakes after I post.
My Mom says after many years of trying to change what was, she learned to just accept what is and work within the confines. That doesn’t mean she “settles” but she doesn’t FIGHT IT any longer. You kind of begin to really choose your battles after a certain age – you learn to use your energy for adaptation instead of confrontation. Easier to say than do though!!
I can relate. Letting go does not have to mean giving up. It means no longer fighting a losing battle, and instead focusing on the positives. It does not have to be what you cannot do, but rather, what you can do! I learned this the hard way. Once you do, things do get easier, because you find ways to accentuate your strengths.Instead of laying in the dirt, you find the thermal winds to carry you. HUGS!
It’s so hard to adjust to a new way of life. If you can’t change something you do need to come to terms with that. If life hands you lemons then make lemonade. I wish you the very best in this transition.
Yes, we all struggle with this. It brings to mind the Serenity quote: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Reinhold Niebuhr
Oh, I’m as stubborn as the day is long, so change is not easy for me. But I fortunate to love a man who really rolls with the punches, and I learn from him. Well, except when he cannot figure out his new cell phone and cusses and yells…LOL! That Nutella image reminds me of Chucky drinking from my tea cup this weekend, but since he did it while it sat right in front of me on the table, he didn’t bother to deny…
Mee-you Shoko an Kali what a GRATE ‘Spark’ you did! Mee showed LadyMum an shee gotted leeky eyess. Mee goin to let her mee-yow now.
Hello Shoko, Kali & Jean I too struggle with accepting things I can not change. And even tho’ I say the Serenity Prayer daily I still take my will back. And I rage against the inabilities I know confront. I want to be like I was in my 2-‘s-30’s; even my early 40’s. However I have to accept that I am now middle-aged & the challenges I face will increase as I age. I accept the seizures because I know there is either treatment or medication I can take.
Sometimes I think my acceptance is more a kind of resignation…I guess they are quite similar Jean… I pray for you a lot. You & I are Warrior Women!!! We just have to keep on ‘keeping on’ right?
Much ❤ & {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen & **nose rubsss** Cuss-inn Dharth Henry xxxx
I can’t help thinking that our attitudes though stubborn and difficult to deal with, have taken us a long way. We refused to give up and kept fighting. I believe this fighting spirit has kept me walking and not in a wheelchair yet. I guess the main thing I need to see….you too my friend, is when to stop fighting and adapt to our new restrictions. I guess I’m a little sad too because if I can’t use my habnds, I can’t do all the things I do with the vegetable garden.
kali N shoko…change iz hard for everee one ta eggs cept; peepulz N petz alike; we ask de good Lord ta give yur mom de strength oh fort a tood her kneadz….N yet never say ….can’t…if thiz makes sense ~~~~ ♥♥♥♥♥
Dat’s a pawsum spark Shoko. You look very cute in your beret. Mommy totally unnerstands how your mommy feels. Her life was turned upside down in a minit, and keeps changin’ every day. We don’t know dat awnty Jean will find happiness in lettin’ go of da past and da way things were, but at least she’ll learn new ways to accomplish some tasks and furget ’bout frettin’ over those she can no longer accimplish. When ya’ can’t Do somethin’, Have somethin’, Be somethin’, and ya’ let it go, life gets much simpler. We’re sendin’ hugs and purrayers.
My heart goes out to you…..you are a strong Mama!!!!! I can relate to health issues making things different. I often have trouble accepting what I can’t change too. This was a great post! xoxo
Oh my, your spark really hit home with me. It’s hard to let go of situations not within my control. And when I do let them go, I just worry all the more! Your photo capture of the Nutella bandit made me smile. Thank you for the giggle.
It is really difficult to let go of things that we can’t control….trying to accomplish this will be an ongoing challenge.
The kitty cat at the end is not my creation but a meme I borrowed to give us a chuckle.
Jean
I spent most of my life obsessed with what I can’t change. The strange thing is that while I was obsessed with that, I missed out on life – and that’s what I want to but can’t change now. We expect so much from ourselves – when we’d be much more compassionate if a friend was going through the same thing. I try to hold that standard – trying not to expect more of myself than I’d expect of anyone else. Easier said than done!
An excellent way to look at it, Katherine. I never thought of it that way but I can just hear myself saying…”So you can’t use your hands as well as you used to. Let’s focus on what you CAN do and look at all the happiness you bring to other peeps by your laughter and accepting personality
Lovely post, Jean, thank you for those words…Shoko and Kali too of course 😺💕xxx
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To some extent we all do. I know I was dealing with the vicissitudes of being newly diagnosed with Wegener’s granulomatosis and sitting in the waiting room of the hospital for a follow up doctor’s appointment. I had to use a cane to get around, something that hurt my pride as I was only 55 at the time.
Then a husband and wife came in. They were well dressed, looking extremely affluent. Yet they husband was in an automated wheelchair that required him to puff into a tube to operate. He was severely disabled, perhaps by ALS or some similar neurological disease, more by accident. It didn’t matter because he was forever confined to the wheelchair, perhaps to eventually lose even the ability to puff into the tube to achieve mobility.
I watched the couple. The husband was frustrated by his inability to consistently make the wheelchair obey his puff commands. The wife was frustrated because she saw the task as simple, one her husband just couldn’t get right with consistency. He was at the point of giving up, and she was berating him for it. It was not a happy scene.
I was called to go through the pre-appointment paperwork, so left the couple to their challenges. It occurred to me, however, that my “new normal” was frustrating and embarrassing, but I, at least, was able to get around pretty darn well with that cane!
The lesson, I suppose, is accept the “new normal” because there are others with conditions far worse that they must adjust to. This realization has helped me have a positive outlook on my disabilities and to adjust easily to “new normals” without slipping into despair or self-pity.
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From the heart too…this is a great challenge for me. I should be a cat as change is something I fight.
Jean
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Weggieboy, Thank you for this slap of reality….I needed it. You are so right. There are peeps out there that are so much worse than I am. What a chore….blowing a wheelchair to move it. This makes my struggle rather insignificant but it is my struggle so is difficult for me but I am very lucky as I can still hold things.
Jean
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Canadian Cats Post author
November 13, 2017 at 9:03 am
From the heart too…this is a great challenge for me. I should be a cat as change is something I fight.
Jean
LikeLiked by 1 person
“…the husband” and “…or by accident” Every time WordPress modifies the app to make it better, I wish they’d consider making it possible to edit comments after you post them on someone else’s post! I almost always see the mistakes after I post.
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My Mom says after many years of trying to change what was, she learned to just accept what is and work within the confines. That doesn’t mean she “settles” but she doesn’t FIGHT IT any longer. You kind of begin to really choose your battles after a certain age – you learn to use your energy for adaptation instead of confrontation. Easier to say than do though!!
Hugs, Teddy
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Your mom is a great woman and a role model for our mom as she is a fighter and has to just let go.
Shoko and Kali
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I can relate. Letting go does not have to mean giving up. It means no longer fighting a losing battle, and instead focusing on the positives. It does not have to be what you cannot do, but rather, what you can do! I learned this the hard way. Once you do, things do get easier, because you find ways to accentuate your strengths.Instead of laying in the dirt, you find the thermal winds to carry you. HUGS!
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Annie what an excellent post….positive and reassuring.
Hugs,
Jean
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Make sure you link up to Sparks!
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Lordy me! I forgot. I will do that right now.
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It’s so hard to adjust to a new way of life. If you can’t change something you do need to come to terms with that. If life hands you lemons then make lemonade. I wish you the very best in this transition.
Have a blessed day. ☺
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So true…it’s finding the lemonade in one life that is difficult after having lemon chicken.
Jean
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Yes, we all struggle with this. It brings to mind the Serenity quote: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~Reinhold Niebuhr
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The Serenity prayer is excellent in this case….easier said than done.
JeaN
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So true. I guess that’s why it is a prayer, ’cause we need help with it!
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Oh, I’m as stubborn as the day is long, so change is not easy for me. But I fortunate to love a man who really rolls with the punches, and I learn from him. Well, except when he cannot figure out his new cell phone and cusses and yells…LOL! That Nutella image reminds me of Chucky drinking from my tea cup this weekend, but since he did it while it sat right in front of me on the table, he didn’t bother to deny…
LikeLike
Mee-you Shoko an Kali what a GRATE ‘Spark’ you did! Mee showed LadyMum an shee gotted leeky eyess. Mee goin to let her mee-yow now.
Hello Shoko, Kali & Jean I too struggle with accepting things I can not change. And even tho’ I say the Serenity Prayer daily I still take my will back. And I rage against the inabilities I know confront. I want to be like I was in my 2-‘s-30’s; even my early 40’s. However I have to accept that I am now middle-aged & the challenges I face will increase as I age. I accept the seizures because I know there is either treatment or medication I can take.
Sometimes I think my acceptance is more a kind of resignation…I guess they are quite similar Jean… I pray for you a lot. You & I are Warrior Women!!! We just have to keep on ‘keeping on’ right?
Much ❤ & {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen & **nose rubsss** Cuss-inn Dharth Henry xxxx
LikeLike
I can’t help thinking that our attitudes though stubborn and difficult to deal with, have taken us a long way. We refused to give up and kept fighting. I believe this fighting spirit has kept me walking and not in a wheelchair yet. I guess the main thing I need to see….you too my friend, is when to stop fighting and adapt to our new restrictions. I guess I’m a little sad too because if I can’t use my habnds, I can’t do all the things I do with the vegetable garden.
Loves,
Jean
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That’s a great quote, Shoko, but it takes time to accomplish. So I think it’s a long way to Tipperary, huh😘Pawkisses for a Happy Healthy Day😘❤😻
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You are so right Binky and Granny. I will be trying to accomplish this goal for many years. The trick is knowing when to stop fighting and accept.
Jean and Kali
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kali N shoko…change iz hard for everee one ta eggs cept; peepulz N petz alike; we ask de good Lord ta give yur mom de strength oh fort a tood her kneadz….N yet never say ….can’t…if thiz makes sense ~~~~ ♥♥♥♥♥
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It sure does make sense. Mom must just find the things that help her adapt to new situations….like a reaching tool.
Shoko and Kali
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The mom needs to put that Spark up on the wall so she can see it every day.
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Good idea…perhaps mom could use looking at it everyday too.
Shoko and Kali
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Dat’s a pawsum spark Shoko. You look very cute in your beret. Mommy totally unnerstands how your mommy feels. Her life was turned upside down in a minit, and keeps changin’ every day. We don’t know dat awnty Jean will find happiness in lettin’ go of da past and da way things were, but at least she’ll learn new ways to accomplish some tasks and furget ’bout frettin’ over those she can no longer accimplish. When ya’ can’t Do somethin’, Have somethin’, Be somethin’, and ya’ let it go, life gets much simpler. We’re sendin’ hugs and purrayers.
Luv ya’
Dezi and Raena
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You are so right ladies and letting go must come gradually over time….
Shoko, Kali and Jean
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Dat’s right awnty Jean, Shoko and Kali. Good luck, it’s a hard thing to do. Big hugs
Luv ya’
Dezi and Raena
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It seems so difficult to change. But then I think that I only need to live in the moment…Nellie taught me that.
Purrs and Love
Marv and Barb
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I,m not a great planner but living for here and now sounds logical to me.
Shoko
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Excellent Sparks. I can relate…and I responded above, under OneSpoiledCat’s comment. Thank you for being a part of Sparks. Big Hugs.
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That is an excellent spark and I agree it is tough to do. XO
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My heart goes out to you…..you are a strong Mama!!!!! I can relate to health issues making things different. I often have trouble accepting what I can’t change too. This was a great post! xoxo
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Thanks Carin…I don’t talk about me very much. I prefer to talk about the girls….they bring such a smile to my face.
Jean
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Oh my, your spark really hit home with me. It’s hard to let go of situations not within my control. And when I do let them go, I just worry all the more! Your photo capture of the Nutella bandit made me smile. Thank you for the giggle.
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It is really difficult to let go of things that we can’t control….trying to accomplish this will be an ongoing challenge.
The kitty cat at the end is not my creation but a meme I borrowed to give us a chuckle.
Jean
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What a great spark. Sending hugs to mom Jean!
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Thanks for the vote of confidence. Life can be tough at times but we’re tougher……at times..
Jean
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Change is often hard but I think you’ve got a good attitude about it.
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Thank you Ida. I am so glad you agree with me.
Jean
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I spent most of my life obsessed with what I can’t change. The strange thing is that while I was obsessed with that, I missed out on life – and that’s what I want to but can’t change now. We expect so much from ourselves – when we’d be much more compassionate if a friend was going through the same thing. I try to hold that standard – trying not to expect more of myself than I’d expect of anyone else. Easier said than done!
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An excellent way to look at it, Katherine. I never thought of it that way but I can just hear myself saying…”So you can’t use your hands as well as you used to. Let’s focus on what you CAN do and look at all the happiness you bring to other peeps by your laughter and accepting personality
Thanks my friend.
Jean
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